About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
