his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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