I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just google imaged poop.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
