and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
