No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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