Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
