At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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