There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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