and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
