D3 body, D1 cock
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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