So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
