So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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