So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Girls should come with a carfax report
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I don't deserve a penis
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
