Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
