hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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