i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
