I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
