maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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