i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
