Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
