I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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