I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
