MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
