We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
