It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
