I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
