I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
