one two three fourrrrnication!
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
True strength comes from lack of pants
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize