If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
