Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
