It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
