So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
A bitchslap is in order.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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