I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
