Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
