You're completely useless in the revolution.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
