so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
