ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
