Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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