Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize