a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
