Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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