thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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