on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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