I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
