i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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