I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
