He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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