Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Randomize
