i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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