Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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