mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize