she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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