if i can run in heels then i can drive
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
