She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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