barbara walters just said penis...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
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