Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
