I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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