They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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