I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
