I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
