Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
